First proper day in China

I woke up when my roommate came in- a very friendly Indonesian girl with fabulous hair and a name I couldn't pronounce, who told me to call her Achi. I got up and realised with a shock it was 11 o'clock Shanghai time (about 2 in the afternoon at home), so I wrote yesterday's blog and went downstairs. In the lift with me were two older-looking caucasian girls, so I asked them where I could find food. They were looking for food also, so they invited me along. The blonde one, Brooke, had been to Shanghai before, so she took us to where there were vendors selling street food. I had no idea what to ask for, so I got the same as the brunette, Sophie- something like long sushi with pork crackling in the middle. It was delicious.

When we got back the desks had been set up for registration, so I went upstairs to get my passport. I may have read for a weeney bit. Like a couple of hours, until I heard a knock on the door. When I opened it, there was a Chinese guy about my age in a suit, who began speaking Shanghainese, none of which I understood.
"Ni hui shuo Yingyu (Can you speak English)?" I asked.
"Bu shi (No, followed by unintelligable Chinese)."
He walked into the room, taking stuff and putting it into a bag- the tea, the little fake rose on the desk, the towels.
"Wei shenme (Why)?! I cried.
Getting frustrated at trying to explain he walked over to the phone and called the front desk.
"He is taking the things," said the phone.
"Yes, I was wondering about that-"
"-He take the things, ok?"
"Ok. Do I get the towels back?"
"You buy own towel. Thankyou, goodbye."
He hung up, and I walked over to the boy, who was looking at me expectantly.
"I take the things?" He asked.
"Yeah. You take the things." I sighed.

At this point I grabbed my passport and went to register. I waited in line behind a girl I had always wanted to talk to, who had been in my tutorials. She smiled, I smiled, she held out her hand and said, "I'm Jessie."

I registered, got my student ID, and she explained how she had just arrived from Guangzhou where her family lived, and she had no idea what to do. I suggested we go for a wander, so we went up to my room where I got my bag before going up another floor to her room, which was HUGE. We ended up just staying there for ages, eating pizza shapes and watching Chinese TV, which is hilarious in the same way Japanese TV is hilarious- lots of flashing lights and excitable voices and the occasional picture of a leek.

After a time we met up with her friend Elise who I remembered as being lovely but really not very good at Chinese. She has this amazing, waist length, strawberry blonde curly hair, and she was complaining about the attention she was getting as we walked down the street, looking for somewhere to have dinner.
"I got some guy come up to me, hold my hand and try to walk down the street with me. Seriously. I had to yell at him until he went away."
This sounds a bit much but even as I was thinking this people were stopping in the street to look at her, and a pedestrian had to swerve to avoid a cyclist who was looking at her over his shoulder. "Waiguoren (Foreigners)" I heard a kid mutter.

We chose a place that looked like it would have pictures on its menus. We ordered two noodle dishes and Shanghai dumplings, and then Jessie ordered this amazing dessert her cousins introduced her to in Guangzhou. Tiny tiny buns (made out of the same stuff that's in pork buns), some normal, some fried, which you dip into condensed milk. Oh, my god. I do not understand how the Chinese are so thin.

We decided to meet up with Sophie and Brooke, the girls I had met that morning, to go clubbing. Heaps of people came along, including male-model-attractive Joe and geeky Albert (which I suppose is inevitable with a name like Albert). The club was called Park 57, presumably because you had to walk through this park to get there, and was clearly made for Waiguoren. Everybody spoke spoke English and about 40% of the people were caucasian. We went up to the bar and shouted to the bartender what we wanted. The others got shots, but when I shouted "coke?" he replied,
"35 yuan"
"Are you kidding?" I yelled.
"Deal with it" He shrugged. Since this was more than dinner and the taxi ride combined, I went thirsty.

We ended up on the dance floor, dancing to exactly the same music that we would be dancing to in Australia, which was irritating. I can't even escape Lady Gaga and Katy Perry by fleeing the continent, damn globalisation. That "f**k you" song came on and I got a flash of homesickness, remembering singing along to the same song in Josh's car. Every now and then the dance floor would be cleared for these dancers in tiny outfits to do a routine, which was cool. Around the dance floor were these tiny tables where people played some complicated drinking game with dice in a cup, while tiny sharks swum by in the fish tanks that were the club's walls.

We left when the guys around us became too touchy-feely, and got back to the hotel at about 1-ish. Now it's the morning, and I'm about to go in search of more towels. Wish me luck.

Zaijian! Ellen

Day 1

I've written in almost every detail of my days so it might not be that thrilling a read, but I know mum will want to know all about it, so here goes. You already know the first bit, because you were there, but my friends will want to know how the flight went, so I left it all in.

 We left mum's house really early in the morning, carrying the suitcase I've probably overpacked. I'd been really stressed out trying to organise it all and I hadn't really been sleeping, so I wasn't feeling so crash hot, but that was okay, because I was really excited. We met up with dad at the airport and mum and I voted (I didn't vote below the line this time, it's only the state election and anyway I had slightly more important things on my mind). We passed a krispy kreme and we decided to get some which is relevant because as we were waiting I I looked over dad's shoulder and the comedian Tom Gleeson was standing there, which made me feel better because stand-up comedian= good omen, but I didn't say anything, because geez can't a guy get a donut?  

  So we went back to Tim who was minding the huge suitcase for me (thankyou, Tim), and I said goodbye to the 'rents, trying to convince mum I'd be ok because I was on a quest for the master sword and sometimes bad things happen on quests but it's alright because I'm stout of heart and it always works out for the hero in the end, at which point she told me to shut up, and that she's never heard a woman refer to themselves as stout of anything. I promised dad I wouldn't go to any protests or do anything that would get me shot by angry communists, and I was off.

  I got a window seat on the plane, which I thought was awesome until I had to get up every 10 minutes to throw up. The girl beside me was not happy.

  The moment I stepped off the plane there was a military presence. No kidding. they had guns and helmets and everything. What was also slightly irritating was that the people who were shouting instructions all switched to English when they saw me, even though I was the only foreigner except for this greek woman who didn't understand any English anyway.

  When I got out of the airport I found a taxi, driven by a woman, which was reassuring. What was less reassuring is the fact that they drive like crazy people here. Maybe not Vietnam crazy, but sufficiently crazy enough to make me close my eyes. In the hour it took to get to the hotel I saw 4 instances of indicating, and everybody was swerving all over the place. I comforted myself by looking at a box that was n the back seat, that had a picture of a bear on it and the words,

       "everying do become great happiness"

Excellent. 

  I asked if she spoke English and she didn't (which was ok because I knew enough Chinese to tell her where I needed to go and that I needed a receipt), which turned out to be not entirely true as she displayed great proficiency at English swear words.

  "Shit!" She'd cry, "mother-ass-fucker!" as we swerved someone who just cut in front of us, no warning at all.

  "Ni zhu zai Shanghai (Do you live in Shanghai)?" I asked.

  "Shide. Shanghai hen da, bu hen anjing. Mei guanxi, wo xihuan. Ni xihuan Shanghai. (yes. Shanghai is very big, not very quiet. But its ok, I like it. You like Shanghai)" She assured me, and then, as we did a U-turn into oncoming traffic, "cocksucker... cocksucker."

  
I got to the hotel fine, but had a problem when I realised my phone's battery had died and that it had the pin number for my card in it. I had to rush out of the hotel in search of a phone card, until I found a man selling them from his bicycle. He, like the taxi driver, didn't speak any English, and I had a harder time trying to ask for what I needed.

  'Wo xiang da dianhua Meierben (I want to call Melbourne)"

  "Wo bu zhidao ( I don't know, followed by rapid chinese I didn't follow, but took to mean, "Hurry up and tell me want you want lady, or leave me alone so I can continue my disreputable-looking bicycle phone-card service in peace")"

   "Aodaliya (Australia)" I clarified.

  He rummaged in his bag for the right one and showed my a calculator with how much, and I was able to call my parents and explain that, yes, I was a dickhead and that I would talk to them again soon.

  So I lugged my thoroughly overpacked bag up to level 16, where I collapsed into bed and fell asleep fully dressed.

  And now it is breakfast time, and will have to venture out of my hotel room at some point, so goodbye everyone, and I'll write again tomorrow.

Love, Ellen

P.S. Helen and Natassja, I totally passed a starbucks on the taxi ride. Just thought you should know.